UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN

Feeling so down, angry, depressed, lonely, unsure, angry, f*&ked up!

Why am I stucked here?

Luckily, I've had so much work to do, It didn't give me much time to think about how miserable I felt during the whole week. This morning was the worst. Wanting so much to cry out of things that are out of my control, people I couldn't easily abandon because they need me and somehow, maybe, I'm not sure - I need them too.
When things get a lil crazy ... I shop. Bought 7 dresses today and I feel so much better.

District 9

Watched District 9 last night. We got free premiere tickets. At the beginning of the movie it was like a documentary that I couldn't quite understand. Halfway through the movie, we still couldn't get it. We were joking on how the introduction is taking so long, wondering on when the real movie/action is going to start. The movie is really weird. It's weird that there are aliens and they can communicate with human being. It's weird that human beings and aliens seem to coexist. It's weird that human being can become like the aliens if he gets contaminated with that thing they referred to as the "fluid" (which one alien is trying to collect to fly a ship back to their Mothership). True, the movie is very original, but it's really weird. I don't know how else to describe it. I could've slept during the entire movie, but I was waiting for the real action/message, to show us what the movie really is trying to tell us. LOL. Gosh that was hard. I don't know. Maybe my mind was too busy criticizing the movie that I totally missed or didn't realize it. (The other day, a friend told me she just watched District 9 and she was crying so hard her tummy hurts. At the end of the movie I remembered what she said and wondered if she was really referring to the movie District 9. LOL. I even think some of the scenes are funny.)

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I parked my car on the 4th level parking. I didn't realize it 'til we reached the ground floor. LOL. I was too busy texting people about District 9 and chatting with my officemates. We were near the exit when it suddenly hit me that my car is up there! 4th level! I was laughing sooo hard. HAHA. I got lost there for a moment. LOL gosh I was I have a driver. Can we buy a car that goes with a driver? I wish.

SLEEP as my bestfriend

I felt a little sense of pride. I'm proud of myself for being so patient, so caring, so understanding this past few days. I didn't think it would be this easy to teach yourself to be good. haha. I was hurting, for the way they treated me but I learned to forgive. I have been praying for this. That HE will teach me to be patient and to be forgiving.

But when things get too much for me to handle, too stressful and too painful - I sleep.

MONDAYS

everybody hates MONDAYS!

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I can't believe he rides the MRT too!!! :D

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I'm off to bed. sleeping unusually early tonight.

whose fault?

Being poor is a choice, I believe. But although it doesn't always apply to everyone I still believe it's a matter of choice. When we cannot eat three times a day, we cannot go outside, join rallies to blame the government. You have to work to earn a living so you can eat. .hey say it's so hard to look for a job. Yes it is hard to look for a job if you just stay at home waiting for someone to offer you a job. But I should also consider those who are out everyday looking for jobs and still end up jobless because companies nowadays require a lot. Medical examinations cost too much. This examinations can cost P500 the least. Of course, not all those who seek jobs can afford this, and so they say, why bother looking for a job when I can't even afford a one-way P7.00 fare. I think you can borrow from a neighbor. When you look for a job of course you have to look presentable. You don't need a new shirt or shoes, you can borrow from a friend or a brother/sister, right?
Imagine a family with 6 kids, the father doesn't have a stable job (earning less than the minimum daily wage), the mother stays at home and is pregnant with their 7th child. They can barely eat one meal a day, and they keep on reproducing! Now who do they blame for their condition? More likely they'd say the government didn't provide them jobs. Are we really that lazy or a we just plain stupid?

GET SMART

I wanted to watch the movie because I am an ANNE HATHAWAY fan. Steve Carell is funny. Anne is as always beautiful and sexy. The movie is an "a okay" for me. Funny, yes. I like it coz Anne's in the movie. :) haha

Watching The Last Journey of Ninoy now. Jiggy Cruz reminded his twitter followers to watch it, he just tweeted.

Ninoy Aquino is a HERO. Corazon Aquino is a HERO.

perfectly happy

Whenever I hang out with my bestfriends (my friends for 15 years) they always ask me if I'm (finally) dating someone. And of course, the answer would always have to be, "I don't need a boyfriend, I don't want one...". I would have wanted to say more like "...I'm perfectly happy being single", but no I would rather not . It would just lead to more questions and more blah blah how I'm so picky and so strict, a perfectionist and could be selfish. WHATEVAH! I would just laugh. I'd rather not cry again and get hurt again. I guess I've had enough for now. Of course there's someone special but I don't want him to be my boyfriend YET. LOL. we'll see we'll see. Again, I'm perfectly happy being me, and being single.

You're on my mind

I'm thinking about you and it scares me that I am! There's no way I'm going to tell you though that I am thinking about you; I've been thinking about you for a long time now. What a relief when you told me a few days ago that you're afraid of commitments. Thank heavens! I'm scared too! I'm not scared to love though, as long as I keep it to myself. lol. I don't even know you that much. Now Why am I thinking about you? You're fun to be with, you talk with sense, you're smart, you're sweet, you're very respectful. You're crazy, maarte, definitely not good looking. LOL Now I know. Because I can be me when I'm with you. Because I don't have to pretend to be someone else when I'm with you. I can tell you what's on my mind (but definitely not what I feel about you). We can talk the whole day and not get bored. You're honest. You're funny! You listen. I told you to stay (not like a dog though) and you did. LOL. You're a good friend. You looked at me with all honesty and sincerity and I have to look away. When you said you wanna hug me, I thought I had to make an excuse. It was soooooooo freakin' cold that time I was practically trembling but I didn't let you. Because I was so freakin' afraid. To you I am a friend, I know. And I'm thankful that you don't feel the same way because if you do, I'd have to walk away and learn to forget you. I don't want to forget you. I want you to stay forever in my life as a friend.

JUNO

Watched JUNO on TV this afternoon. ALL I can say is WOW. This movie came out last year or was it the other year? I forgot. The story is good. (now I really am not good with adjectives and all the right words to describe certain things, situations or people so please bear with me). It's realistic. The acting is good! (I think) I like Juno's character so much! She's mean, she's funny, she's cool (in some ways), she's hilarious, she's witty, smart, talented, she's someone you'd never thought would be like that, she's one strong woman (for a 16 yr old) lol. I will watch this movie again. and I like the songs too! There's this line of one of the songs from the movie "...You're a parttime lover, full time friend.." WOW (see what I mean? I'm not good with words, but I'm trying my best here) The last part is pretty sad. Juno decided not to look at her baby, she wanted Vanessa to have the baby right away. People usually fall in love before they reproduce. It's weird that theirs was the other way around. It's sweet, It's super sweet. Again, I'll definitely watch it for two reasons: I wasn't able to watch it from the beginning and because I like it so much. I love Juno. *okay*

SHOES

I love shoes!

(my mind is somewhere else)

Breakup

A friend shared what happened to her today: Her boyfriend broke up with her. . .so I told her:

it's easy to get used to having a bf...but getting used to being single after a breakup is soooo freakin hard. You'll just have to condition your mind that it's going to be a GOOD CHANGE in your life this time. True, it's easier said than done, but I believe, It's all in THE mind.
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Yesterday, I was taking a nap, suddenly my phone rang.

a Girl from the other line asked "sino to?" In my mind I was like WTH! she's the one who called and she's asking me who i was? I was pissed. I asked her who she was and someone else got the phone to tell me "eh kasi tumawag ka kanina, sino to?" I answered "Wala po akong tinawagan, baka wrong number kayo", and then she asked "are you my kuya's girlfriend?" (i laughed) i said "ummm i think you got the wrong number" and she apologized and hung up.

gosh! i could've have said "is your Kuya good looking? if he is, YES i'm his girlfriend" hahaha. That made my day! LOL.

an OLD blog (I just have to post it here) for the ARCHIES

I've posted this blog in www.archuletaphilippines.com and in my facebook account. Posted it last May 2009 - a few days after the DAVID ARCHULETA & david cook concert.
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Millions of “THANK YOU” for DAVID ARCHULETA have been said and posted. But there are also other people who deserve a “Thank you” as well – so here goes -

MY HEARTFELT GRATITUDE TO THE ARCHIETECTS/ARCHIES

I’m BLESSED that I was able to go to Manila to watch the concert, stay in the same hotel where David is staying, meet David’s Dad and the band, saw David UP CLOSE; however, what’s even more significant to me is that I found new friends. This time I felt the need to show appreciation and to express my sincerest gratitude to every one who I have met while I was in Manila:

ALYSSA – you are my first ARCHIE friend. Thank you for sharing to me all the wonderful ARCHIE stories and for keeping me updated! Thank you for the friendship! It’s nice to finally see you in person! I miss you already!

FAYE – I felt so fortunate you became my friend. You invited me to join PEX (Archietects thread), and you told me about Archuletaphilippines.com. I thank you for that! I got hooked ever since! I get gazillion of ARCHIE updates from these sites, and thank you for introducing me to the other DAVID ARCHULETA fanatics! I love you!

KAT –THANK YOU VERY MUCH - For without you I wouldn’t be able to go to MANILA to see the concert, meet DAVID, his dad, his band and MEET all the wonderful, amazing Archietects and Archies. You’re like a sister to me! Thank you for the friendship.

PET – For keeping me updated and for helping me with so many things: for the tickets, the shirts (they smell so good), the pins, for the wonderful stories, for everything. You’ve always been so sweet and so nice to me. You’re always there willing to lend a hand. You’re one of the kindest people I’ve known. Before, when you told me that you’re shy, I didn’t believe you ‘coz you’re always so talkative in YM. Girl you really are shy! You always made me laugh; at times you make fun of me, but it’s all good! Thank you so much! I will treasure you perPETually. I hope to see you again really soon!

VINCE – For always being so thoughtful, thank you! I couldn’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done: for picking us up at the airport (please extend my warmest “thank you” to your brother as well), and for accompanying us back to the airport - making sure we’re safe, for showing us around (megamall) =D, and for just being there!! For making me a part of some of the things that you have to do for AP - For asking me to help you with some of the Archutasks - I get the chance to suggest a color. YEY! Ha Ha Ha! Thank you! It means a lot to me! You are one of the nicest persons I’ve met. I’ll treasure you forever! I’ll see you soon!

NETTE – Thank you for the pins!! Thank you for sharing to us your funny stories. The best I’ve heard was about you and Jeff in the elevator. “…we’re busy preparing…” LOL. You’re the best Ate Nette! You’re always fun to be with! You never ran out of funny stories!

JOYCE – Vain girl! Thank you for being so nice. I’m happy we’re roommates! Thank you for constantly reminding us not to feel frustrated and not blame D. You are the first person I called the day after I got home, when I felt so down, waking up in the morning, missing everything we did while I was there and missing everyone! I will see you soon! I can’t wait! We should go shopping together! It’ll be FUN!

KARISSA – Vain girl! You are one unique girl! One moment I saw you almost shed a tear from all the frustrations you felt and the next second you’re all energetic and happy! You are so fun to be with! I was very delighted when I found out you can understand and speak “bisaya”! HA HA! I miss you Gwapa! Thank you!

LOUISE – We did not get to talk much but you’re so kind! Thank you so much for the David picture you gave me! I couldn’t thank you enough for that.

MAECY – You are one of the people who made me feel comfortable, Thank you! You are fun to be with! I had fun listening to your stories as well. You have a very lovely daughter!

WINCY, ANGELA, LARISSA, STEVEN, REE (Team Archie) – Thank you for the fans and for sharing to us the little sweet cupcakes (what do you call that? It tastes really good!) You are all so nice and so kind! I’m looking forward to seeing you again!

URIEL – the ever huggable Yuryurs! You’ve been so nice to me. You’re one cuddly teddy! I miss getting sms from you at the wee hours in the morning! You are so fun to be with. I miss you, your brother and your cousin! Thank you Yurs!

FEESHDA – T-shirt girl! You are so nice! Thank you Feesh!! I’m lucky I get to chance to hang out with you for 2 days. You’re one of the sweetest people I’ve met. You never slept while you were in the hotel! Amazing! I wish I could do that!

GEM – You’re one sweet girl! You are funny and so talkative. I’m so glad I met you! Thank you! I hope to see you again soon! I didn’t get to hang out with you after the concert and the day after the concert! I miss you already!

CHECHE – Chatty Che! You are by far the most talkative of all the Archietects that I’ve met! There’s never a boring moment when you’re with us! You have so much energy! It’s contagious! Thank you for that!

MARIAN – you don’t talk that much but you’re really friendly! Thank you! It was nice to finally meet you!

SHEN – pretty sheny! I only saw you for a few minutes! At least I get the chance to say HI to you! I hope to see you again soon! Thank you!

AYRA - Eyra girl! Everyone’s been talking about you and how lucky you and your sisters were that you got the chance to talk to David and gosh…HUG him too! You are so lucky girl! I am so happy for you! I didn’t get to hug you but at least I have a picture with you. Teehee. Thank you!

NAREE – Few minutes after our plane landed in Manila you called to ask if someone’s going to pick us up, and you even called Vince to make sure he picks us up. Thank you Ate Naree for being so thoughtful! It means a lot to me! I was so grateful and I felt so lucky that you were there at the restaurant when “that thing” happened.

VEER (From Australia) – I was amazed when I learned that you came all the way from Australia just to see the concert. I had fun talking with you! Thank you! I hope to see, again, when I go to Australia.

JOE – You came all the way from Bacolod to see the concert! Joe FTW! I mean JoePet FTW! You don’t talk that much but you’re really nice. I hope to see you again soon! But now I know you’re really talkative! And funny too!! Thank you! See you in Bacolod!

KIWI – You are one talented girl! I had so much fun when you were doing all the Archumoves! – And you’re really good!! Kia I miss you already. I’m glad you’re fine now. I miss the “SHINE” song that you’ve been singing! Thanks for the songs! You have an amazing voice!

CHUNNIE – Tiny Chunnie! I was so happy when I saw you! But you had to leave right away. I’ll see you again soon though. Thanks for being a friend Joan!

JENNA –You are one sweet girl! It was so nice to finally meet you Jenna! I’m glad we get to hang out even for a while. You are fun to be with! Thank you!

ANGELARCHIE – I have no idea why you always hide from the camera. Hehe. We were not able to chitchat that much but thank you for being so friendly.

JAMIE – Thanks for being so friendly. I had fun listening to your stories.

TENNISTER, IRISH, EUGENE, JAMES, Ms. DITAS: I didn’t get to talk to you guys. But it was Nice seeing you all!

KRICKET – for the million updates you shared to us in AP; it was you who gave me the idea of staying in the same hotel where David will be staying. Thank you for being so sweet. I’m looking forward to seeing you this year! You’re one of those people who made sure someone picks us up at the airport. It means so much to me! I love you!

To ROY & SELENE – I really wanted to see you! Especially you Roy! ‘Coz you promised! You owe me something. =P Sparkling Selene, I hope to see you when I get back there!

Oh of course!! I almost forgot to thank my MOTHER (she’s an ARCHIE FAN). Thank you for letting me go to Manila with Kat!

You ALL changed my life in a moment… (A song?) LOL :D

There’s no going back to normal lives…because our lives will never be the same.
…’til we meet again…

With love from Cebu,

-=Shine/Shineninstar=-

Online Shopping

The first time I tried shopping online was months ago (MAY). I have learned from some people I know that they've purchased a lot from ebay and they're rather satisfied with how it's turned out and how it has made it easier for them to buy cheap brand new stuff. These people usually buy cameras, they are those who are into photography. Sure thing, shopping online is risky but that wasn't on my mind. I bought my first digital camera in ebay. I bought a Sony Cybershot DSC-T77 10.1 mp camera. It only cost me P14K+ for a brand new camera, including the shipping and some other freebies. I ordered, paid on the same day around 3:55pm (few minutes before the banks closed. I don't own a credit card, I don't trust myself yet judging from how I shop) I got the package 9am the next day! I got it in less than 24 hours. I checked the camera in the malls here, and it costs P22,000 (I checked it a month after I bought my camera). I got mine really cheap.

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I've been shopping for clothes online. I buy mine from www.mivestida.multiply.com. They have dresses and tops, etc under P500. I know the one who owns the business, she's my boardmate, my schoolmate and she models the clothes so it's an advantage for me since I know her, I know her size (we're about the same size only she's 2 inches taller and few pounds lighter- maybe 5 lbs lighter). And just lately, I found out that some of my classmates are into the same business too. www.dressitup.multiply.com has a lot of beautiful dresses for under P500 as well. Their dresses are really cute. The dresses in mivestida usually caters to those who are into conservative dresses. Dressitup dresses are chic and cute and trendy - the kind of dresses that teenagers usually wear. My other friend texted me her site 2 days ago it's www.deceotso.multiply.com and so far she only has 3 tops and dresses. What I like about it is that it's way much cheaper than those dresses you buy from boutiques in the mall and they're basically just the same in quality and style. If only I could do shoe shopping online, but that would be too risky. Shoe size and the quality and COMFORT matters. Shoes has to be extra comfy when you wear them. Oh I freakin' love SHOES! That reminds me, I need to buy shoes, that will go with the dress I had made for me-it's aqua blue. Went to the designer who's been designing clothes for my aunt for years now. He's quite expensive but they say it's worth it. He designed a dress for me and my mom. I'm excited! I hope I'll look pretty in that dress!

Stay pretty!

My Musical Family

It’s Lolo Nanong’s 80^th birthday. He’s actually my Dad’s cousin (I just learned about that tonight), I call him Lolo because all this time I thought that he’s my Dad’s Uncle (he’s 30 years older than my dad). It was the first family gathering (father’s side) we attended in 7 months, (ever since my Dad died.) I wasn’t quiet sure how I felt and what to expect on my way there. It felt weird going there without Daddy with us. After dinner the guys took turns in playing the piano. First it was my cousin playing all the love songs. I even texted my friends telling them my cousin is playing the piano and it makes me want to cry, all the love songs he played made me all emotional blah blah. LOL. (What’s wrong with me these days? I always want to cry. Even looking at a couple holding hands and looking so happy makes me want to cry.) Then it was my Uncle Boy who played the piano. All this time I sat by the chair near the piano. I was listening, humming to every song; I was texting, chatting with my aunties, playing with my grandson, while listening. (I couldn’t believe it, I have an “apo”!!! LOL.) And finally, Lolo Nanong took over. For me he was the best. He played with feelings, so strong you’ll get carried away. After a few songs Lola Genang, his sister, started requesting songs, and she sang her heart out. Boulevard of broken dreams, Sound of music, Happy birthday and some Visayan love songs were a few of the many songs. It’s interesting to know that all these songs are older than my parents and they sound so familiar (these are hits way back 1940s), I even knew the lyrics of some songs too, so I sang along with Lola. Hahaha. I guess all these years I’ve been exposed to all these old love songs. Then my Lolo asked me “What was Fritz’s (my dad) song?” I told him “Remember when”. It was the song my dad sang many years back during Lolo Nanong and Lola Sally’s golden wedding anniversary. He played the song, Lola sang, I sang along - I remembered Daddy, I looked at my mom, she was smiling. *Applause applause* after each song. That was the highlight of the evening. Then it was the younger ones turn to serenade those who were “young once”. My cousin BJ played the piano, Grace, his sister sang some songs, this time these are the songs of the younger generation. Haha. Tell me, On the wings of love, Through the fire, Promise me, Fallin, etc etc. I have to help Grace with the lyrics, not with the singing. Hahaha. If Dad was alive, he would have his turn too on the piano and he’d sing as well. And I would be asked to sing too! Uh-oh, Me singing would ruin the evening. So we had to leave earlier since Mom’s not feeling well (and before they could ask me to sing a few songs). Tonight I had fun. I know my Dad’s watching over us, singing his songs too. I look forward to the next family gathering with my Musical Family.

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I wore Yellow for Ninoy, Cory and for the Filipinos. Yellow is my favorite color.

1st BLOG

Today is Ninoy Aquino's 26th death anniversary. Today is a holiday! Thank God! thanks to Ninoy! 25 days ago, Cory died after battling cancer for more than a year. 7 months ago my dad died of cancer, on the 25th of January 2009 to be exact - my 25th birthday. Death could mean different things from different people. Death for me is freedom from all the pain that my dad has to go through from the time he was diagnosed with cancer (nov 2007) up to the time he died. The pain, he just kept it to himself. He does't complain at all because he doesn't want us to worry about him.

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3 day vacation! What i usually do on holidays: SLEEP 10 hours or more, watch TV, go online, do the laundry, clean the house then SLEEP again.

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I used to blog in my myspace account but I got hooked on facebook and twitter that I totally forgot about blogging in myspace. Blogging usually takes my stress away. It lightens my sad broken heart and somehow makes me happy to just type away whatever it is that I'm thinking, whatever I'm feeling and whatever excitement I feel. Since Cory died, I've become a fan of his grandson, Jiggy Cruz. I followed him on twitter and read his blogs. He used this site to blog, so here i am, making an account too. LOL goodbye myspace, you can keep my blogs. lol. I told my friend recently that I've become a jiggy cruz fan and she said jiggy is her kuya's friend. cool huh! :) Jiggy tweets a lot, and I do reply to some of his tweets, hoping that someday he'll notice shineninstar and will reply. He did reply to my questions when he was on sunstar online chat 2 days ago. Those replies are enough to make me ecstatic! I find it hard to sleep that night! haha (adik). Too bad I missed UMAGANG KAY GANDA this morning. He was invited on the show. He was on around 6 am but I woke up 8:30 am today, so I missed it! And so my friends think I'm going crazy. Somehow I did realize that too! so I promised that today will be the last day of my craziness over jiggy cruz. I won't unfollow him on twitter though but I'll just have to teach myself to ignore his tweets. Maybe from time to time i'll reply to his tweets, but i'll stop stalking him online from now on. lol.

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okay so last night, I got a txt message from a someone (I wouldn't mention the name here in case a friend of mine will stumble upon my blog site). He sent some beautiful quotes. Quotes that are worth keeping - about love and about life. He did tell me he missed talking to me (personally) saying "nakakawala kasi ng sincerity kapag txt". thus he doesn't txt that much, which for me is crazy. hahaha I missed him a lot, i just couldn't tell him. :)

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gosh i miss blogging.