I smiled at the thought....

October 20, 2009 - 9AM

DRIVING

Turned on the radio
Stopped on a red light
My mind was suddenly filled with thoughts of you.
Light turned green,
Thoughts of you lingered in my head.
I sung each song;
In the midst of all the confusion
I drove smoothly, oblivious of the heavy traffic;
I felt the song playing on the radio and I liked it.
I smiled at the thought
That you make my heart smile (not the song).
If I could only close my eyes briefly
I would've done it.
I f i could just stop and think for a moment
I would...
I've kept this for a while now,
Thinking, Maybe you felt it too.
I wish you feel the same way.
Wishing so hard that it made me laugh inside.
I'm crazy. I laughed again.
Light changed from yellow to red.
Stepped on the brakes
Thankful for this brief second
When I could think and dream of you;
Then my phone rang and I had to reach for it.
I was pissed.
It wasn't you.
Then it was something else that I'm thinking.
Tuned in to a rock station;
I'm cool.
And in my mind, YOU are nowhere to be found.
It's easy, it's simple.
I know, I can stop thinking about you...
I would.

Shineninstar, don't let your light disappear.

cycle

and everytime I realize it's time to LEAVE,
you come running...too late...
and again....I fall ... falling....

In Tagalog

Mahal kita, pero 'di mo lang alam

May tanong lang ako sa sarili ko:
'Pag mahal mo ba ang isang tao, nagagalit ka ba 'pag nakikita mo shang masaya sa piling ng iba? Mag seselos ka ba? Hahayaan mo lang ba? What if hindi nya alam na mahal mo sha? Wala naman sigurong point diba?
Pero masaya naman sha talaga sa piling ng iba! So anong gagawin mo? anong gagawin ko?

Christmas from the Heart

David Archuleta's Christmas album "CHRISTMAS FROM THE HEART" will be out in music stores here in the Philippines on Oct. 13!!! YEY!!! I just can't wait!

I'll be home for Christmas will always be my Favorite.

Easier

It's easier if you'll just SMILE (believe me)
It's easier if you just choose to be kind
It's easier ... I should know coz i've changed.

I chose to be happy.
I chose to smile though inside i'm so BROKEN
I chose to laugh my heart out, coz somehow it lightens a heavy heart.

Is it possible to smile and cry at the same time?
Is it possible to LAUGH and cry at the same time?
You can't show it, but yes it's possible. (Very much possible, I should know)

Imagine the cool breeze
Imagine the sound of waves
Imagine LOVE

It's crazy, it's funny how everything's changed ever since you came into my life.
My life is crazier coz I'm hurt, I'm broken
It's even crazier coz I've been laughing my heart out (a lot)
It's crazy coz...I'm happier.
=Shine=

Pinoy Rock

I was listening to Pinoy Rock ...

"...mahal kita pero 'di mo lang alam..."

the songs i sang

Was driving on our way to the province, with my mom. We talked about a lot of things. I started singing familiar songs....

Damn I miss singing. The last time I saw I sang in front of a whole lot of people was when my Dad died; I did the responsorial Psalm. I was suppose to sing a song (another song aside from the resp. Psalm) during the mass, but they were afraid I might not be able to finish.

Two years before that, I sang during my cousin's wedding. She requested that I sing "THE PRAYER" the moment she walks down the isle. I was proud of myself. LOL. Good thing I don't have to memorize the song. It's a beautiful song, and I'd love to sing it again in front of many people.

I was surprised when Mommy told me I started singing at the age of 2.

Saving all my love for you
Paper roses
Sing me your song again Daddy

What else? My mom's still trying to recall. LOL

here I am again, so broken. WTF

Why does it bother me?
Why do I think about it?
Why do I have to look and check what you're talking about?
Why does it have to be like this: We need to get hurt to be whole again, to be HAPPY again. ?
Why is the SILENCE making me so sad and hurt and crazy?
Why are things different now?
Why can't I be happier?
Why can't I be crazier and happier?
Why do I have to hide?
Why do I need to feel this?
And why the hell am I writing this freaking paragraph with a whole lot of WHYs in it? WHY WHY WHY?

I need a song. .... I need to sing.

Where are you now?
What have I done?
Is there something that needs to be done that I didn't do?
Am I driving you crazy?
Is it too much?
How can I forget about you?
Do I really need to stay away from the rest of them so that it'll be easier to let go of you?
Is there any way to make all these easier for me? Coz apparently, you don't care!
Do you ever know me at all?
The laughs we shared, you still remember?
Do you ever think about those things that we talked about that made us laugh so hard?
Are you trying to avoid me?
Do you still want to talk?
Do you still want me to call? Tell me, I'll stop.
Is there an easy way out?
Are you jealous? Coz I am.
Are we still friends?
Are we ever friends?
You should know that:
you make me laugh, you make me so happy, you make me sad. But oh no...you didn't make me cry. Not even once. I guess I was stronger this time.
But you broke my heart. Oh boy, you did break my heart.
You wanted to talk to me right? It was you who wanted to talk to me.
What happened?
What went wrong?
Do I talk too much?
Should I be asking you all these?
Is it okay if I'll ask?
Can we talk?
Please? Just this once.
Then I can stop and leave. (I just wish I could)

These Dreams (HEART)

Spare a little candle
Save some light for me
Figures up ahead
Moving in the trees
White skin in linen
Perfume on my wrist
And the full moon that hangs over
These dreams in the mist

Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand
I search for the time
On a watch with no hands
I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

Is it cloak n dagger
Could it be spring or fall
I walk without a cut
Through a stained glass wall
Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no form
Are falling from my lips

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

There's something out there
I can't resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There's something out there
I can't resist

The sweetest song is silence
That I've ever heard
Funny how your feet
In dreams never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

(I'll never get tired of listening to this song)