ONE Sunday Morning

It all came to me...
I need to stop thinking
I need to stop pretending
I need to stop...

So I move on
I live each day
I smile
I laugh
Yet i still pretend

LIES

LIES ... they poison your mind and heart...it breaks you...kills you slowly.

worst that could happen is when you start believing all the lies...

scared

I'm scared to fall

So I tried to be numb

I'm scared of falling apart once again

Tired of crying

Tired of trying to act brave

Tired of trying to mend the broken pieces of ME

So scared of loving

Now I'm scared

Still scared

Scared of this feeling

Scared of falling deeply once again

But, I am falling,

falling deeply each day

I wonder if you feel it...

I wonder if you feel the same way too...

If you do...

will you catch me?

I wished then I sighed

Moments,

I've pictured them in my mind

Countless possibilities

I've wished so hard for them.

In my mind

I've kissed you the way I wanted you to kiss me

I smiled and my heart melted...(it was MY heart that melted),

Will you ever smile at me that way?

I hugged you like I would never let go,

Would you ever hug me that way?

I held your hand

and everything just stopped.

Will my heart ever grow tired of wishing for it?

I've dreamed of this moment a million times

In my head I've played it over and over again

My heart wished for it...fervently.

But my mind has its reasons.

And in that moment

my mind said something that my heart couldn't take

And I sighed...

I guess my heart will learn to wait...

But for now,

I'll hold your hand the way I wanted you to hold mine.

I'll put my arms around you and will feel your heart beat.

I'll kiss your lips the way I wanted you to kiss me.

I'll touch your face and I'll smile sweetly.

I'll tell you everything is fine...

(the way my heart longed for you to tell me that everything will always be alright)

I'll tell you I'm here for you, always.

I'll make you smile.

I'll tell you I miss you every minute that we're apart (because I really do)

And still for now...

I'll love you the way that no one else will do

I'll love you the way you wanted me to love you

And most of all,

I will LOVE YOU the way that I wanted you to love me.

numb

My Heart stopped beating

For seconds I stared blankly into space

I didn't move

I didn't want to breath

Yet, I need to...

My mind was lost

My mind wandered...

Lingered at the thought of you

But couldn't find the peace that the heart is searching

Tried to find its way back to reality

My mind is still lost...

And so i scream

I silently scream...

A WANDERING HEART AND MIND

black black heart

A heart that has once stopped...

A heart that has been crushed...

A heart that has grown cold..

When burned even in the strongest flames (of love),

it would remain cold and unburned...

But, by chance and by choice,

In the right time,

The touch of the right one...

can set it on fire again.

Slowly it starts to beat weakly,

Slowly the ice melts,

Slowly it heals,

pumping stronger by each minute.

The rush of warm love gives it new life...

And you feel it.

The warmth of emotion,

of blood rushing,

filling each dead space,

mending each piece.

No matter how hard you try to fight it,

as it grows stronger each day,

you know there is no turning back

And that's what SCARES me...

=shine=

hugs

I don't want you to hug me when I'm sad, when I'm scared, when I cry...

'Coz when the time will come when our love will fall apart,

I don't want to find myself longing for that hug when I know you wouldn't be there anymore...

exam week

I miss blogging....seriously.

Med school has been so hectic, yet fun. I love the fact that I'm in school again, only this time it's 10 times harder. Sleepless nights, epic fail in exams ( sadly i haven't passed a single exam yet) haha. I have to push myself more.....more and more... I'm loving what I'm doing. This is what I really wanted and I have to do good in this. I know I can do better. The most important thing is that I'm HAPPY.